THE BOTTOM 64 AIRPORTS IN WORLD (we recommend against flying to the Bottom 64 World Cup  Soccer nations with the Bottom 64 airports; stay home and read a top 64 novel)

1. Paris Charles de Gaulle. Given the resources the French could put into a good place for landing and departing, this is a shameful excuse for an international airport. Unfriendly, disorganized, unclean and just generally slow.

2. Mexico City. With less resources than the French, the Mexicans at least make an effort in their shopping area, with ample bookstores (if your language happens to be Spanish). Clean and comfortable spots available, but rare. The lines for international arrivals often a nightmare. Watch for unexpected changes in gate departures.

3. Reykjavik Ketlavik International Airport (Iceland)

The last time we looked out a window here we felt like we were in a temporary structure on the North Pole and never returned. Since then, we would tell even Borges (who like to practice his Old Norse there) to just keep reading in Buenos Aires, for the structure is far to small for the number of literary types who like to visit this wierd place on the earth. Once you add in the non-literary types, this airport is seriously overcrowded.

4. Kuwait

All the rankings of this airport are low and tend to reiterate how dirty and inefficient it is.

5. International airport of Jubba (South Sudan)

The air temperature feels like a sauna. Humidity high, efficiency low.

6. Rey Abdulaziz, Jeddah (Saudia Arabia)

Dirty and cramped with arrogant immigration officials. 

7. Port Harcourt (Nigeria)

Often overlooked in rankings since this is an airport informed non-Nigerians avoid. Corrupt officials and mosquitos biting you while you wait in slow lines distinguish this place from most airports. Dirty toilets too.

8. Tashkent (Izbkistan)

The main complaint is the slowness of the security lines, 

but this is not a nice place to be.

9. Newark, NJ, (USA)

Dirty, disorganized, long lines.

10. Santorini National Airport (Greece)

Think long lines in cramped space, with no air conditioning in Mediterranean heat.

11. Lester B. Pearson Airport Toronto (Canada)

44 million people a year tolerate the rude staff, bad signage.

12. La Canea International Airport (Greece)

Another very hot Greek airport wihout air conditioning. Cramped, and bad food too.

13. Stockholm Arlanda Airport (Sweden)

Located 25 miles north of the city, this miserable place provides an awful airport experience with long lines, clueless staff, and a lack of both toilettes and drinmking water taps. 

14. John Pauil II International (Krakow-Balice)

Located ten miles north of city center, this is a place where arrogant staff humiliate passengers as a regular practice. 

15. London Gatwick Airport

Shortage of helpful staff and places to sit. Obligatory stroll through shopping area after passing through security. 

16. Bucaramanga (Colombia)

Airport location only fit for helicopters and parachutes.

 

17.Lyon (France)

Lacking trained staff, who tend to be arrogant. Long lines. 

 

18. El Dorado (Bogota, Colombia)

Not as provincial as it was only a few years ago.  But you feel more like you are in Macondo than El Dorado.  Take a good book always for the odds are relatively high you will spend the day there.  Poor signage too. Avianca employees generally know the service is substandard for international passengers, so often compensate with kind help. 

19. Miami International Airport (FL, USA)

If you have at lot of time on your hands not a bad place to kick back and enjoy the authentic Cuban food, followed by special cafe cubano.   If you are in a rush or expect efficiency, el ritmo cubano might drive you crazy. 

20. Florianopolis (Brazil)

Disorganized and inefficient. 

21. LAX (Los Angeles, CA, USA)

Like airports in Miami and Bogota, as well as the Brazilian economy, this place is always improving but never really that good. The long lines and frequent security paranoia are discouraging.

22. Ft. Lauderdale Airport (Florida, USA)

It is impossible to purchase a piece of paper in any form in this airport. If you are a millennial and can tolerate concentrating only on your iPad you might be o.k. here, but if you are not a millennial or want good food, you will not find it easy to tolerate this environment.

23. Geneva (Switzerland)

For a nation as wealthy and organized as Switzerland, this airport is an inexplicable embarrassment. Overcrowded, disorganized.

24. Vitoria (Brazil)

Just think: only a little worse than Switzerland

25. San Bolivar (Caracas, Venezuela)

Just when you think things cannot get worse, the next flight is worse.

26. Cuiaba, (Brazil)

Brazilians spend as much time waiting in airports as Colombians. 

27. Toussant - Louverture (Haiti)

For US $15 or less, a voodoo man could probably make this unfortunate place disappear.  

28. Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County, MI (USA)

Neither the Tigers or the Lions are worth it. 

29. Belem (Brazil)

Get out of the airport quickly and you feel like you are at the end of the world. Flying out, getting out quickly is not that likely.

30. Orlando International Airport, FL (USA)

Believe it or not, several grades below Miami and Ft. Lauderdale.  

31.

Asuncion (Paraguay)

The last time we did this we did not find a decent bookstore in the airport or Asuncion. 

 

32. Katola International, (Ghana) 

One of the ten worst in Africa.

33. Managua (Nicaragua)

Since Ruben Dario, some world-class poets always around; urgent need for more engineers and MBA's. 

34. Southwest Florida International, FL (USA)

 

35. 

La Paz (Bolivia)

Once you get of the plane you probably will be concerned enough about the 11,000 feet of altitude that the details of this airport will fade. Take our coca-leaves tea (legal) and relax in hotel.

 

36

Chicago Midway International

You will pay a price for the cheap tickets.

37

LaGuardia, NY (USA)

38

Hopkins, Cleveland (USA)

39

Kansas City International, MO (USA)

We liked this airport for a long time. Now under reconstruction. The staff nice, but efficiency not impressive.  Needs more security lines: too easy to get caught up in the friendliness of everyone and miss your flight.

40.

Pittsburgh, PA (USA) 

One of those formerly dumpy airports always improving,...but still not that good.

41. 

Denver International, CO (USA)

 

42. 

Rosario (Argentina)

 

43. 

Logan International, Boston (USA)

 

44. 

Louis Armstrong, New Orleans (USA)

45

Raleigh-Durham, NC (USA)

46

Oakland International, CA (USA)

47. 

Las Vegas, Nevada (USA)

You can gamble and drink from the minute you arrive in the state of Nevada until you depart this dismal airport, but will have to taxi into town for the rest of what stays in Vegas.

 

48

Ronald Reagan, DC (USA) 

49. 

Nashville, TN (USA)

50. 

Iguazu, Argentina

You will wish you had stayed in Buenos Aires

51. 

Tribhuvan, Katmandu (Nepal)

If you learned your meditation lessons, maybe this will not be so bad.

52. 

Hanid Karzai, Kabul (Afganistan)

53. 

Ninquen (Argentina)

54. 

Tan Son Nhat, Ho Chi Minh City (Vietnam)

55. 

Benazir Bhutto, Islamabad (Pakistan)

We think this is far worse than No. 55 from the worst, but in respect for the other rankings, we are giving this airport a break. (eat and hydrate well before stopping over at this airport)

56

Comodoro, Rivadivia (Argentina)

57

La Chinita, Maracaibo (Venezuela)

Just skip Venezuela for 2019-2020. Along with Kuwait and Newark, NJ, little-to-no redeeming value.

58

Matdaveri, Isla de Pascua (Chile)

Could it be that the Chileans and the Swiss strategically construct poor airports to limit tourism to their precious nations?

59

Santa Fe (Argentina)

60

Heraklion International (Crete)

61.

Tripoli International (Libya) 

62. 

Hopkins, Cleveland (USA)

63.

Chania International (Greece)

64. 

Khartoum International (Sudan)

The Bottom 64 World Cup Nations

 

Do not bet money on these clubs!  Since the total nations to play in World Cup numbers 79, the bottom 32 (the top 32 on this list) are your red flags! Taking into account number of appearances in World Cup, number of wins in the World Cup, and current FIFA rankings, these are the worst football clubs since the beginning of the Mundial in 1930… including some who are yet to appear.  How much does a minimal or losing past record count in a game today? This question hits upon those all-important subjective factors such as muscle memory and positive (or negative) previous experience. All we know for sure is, think twice about betting on the worst 32 cubs in World Cup, the worse choice being number 1 on our list. 

1. El Salvador 0-0-6 (the worst in World Cup; no wins in 6 appearances)

2. DR Congo 

3. Haiti 0-0-3

4. China 0-0-3

5. United Arabs Emirates 0-0-3

6. Indonesia 0-0-1

7. Canada 0-0-3

8. Togo 0-0-3

9. Iraq 0-0-3

10. Bolivia 0-1-5

11. Trinidad and Tobago O-1-2

12. Kuwait 0-1-2

13. Egypt 0-2-3

14. Israel 0-2-1 

15. Honduras 0-3-6

16. New Zealand 0-0-3

17. Bosnia and Herzegovina 

18. Hungary

19. Burkina Faso

20. Norway

21. Korea Republic

22. Albania

23. Ecuador

24. Japan

25. Finland 

26. Mali

27. Cape Verde Islands

28. Algeria

29. Saudi Arabia

30. Côte d’Ivoire

31. Guinea

32. Montenegro

33. Maldives

34. Comoros

35. Burundi

36. Lesotho

37. Guatemala

38. Afghanistan

39. Solomon Islands

40. Equatorial Guinea

41. Hong Kong

42. Kosovo

43. Tanzania

44. Botswana

45. Myanmar

46. Angola

47. Rwanda

48. St. Kitts and Nevis

49. Swaziland

50. Yemen

51. Swaziland

52. Yemen

53. Nicaragua

54. Turkmenistan

55. Slovakia

56. Ukraine

57. Jamaica

58. Wales

59. Cuba

60. Panama (debutants in 2018)

61. Iceland (potential Cinderellas in 2018)

62. Slovenia

63. North Korea

64. Greece (the best of the bottom 64)